Chapter 507 Strangers
As a direct consequence of Michael’s zeal from the night before, I was forced to descend the stairs in small steps. “What’s the matter, Anna?” Josephine asked with concern as she came halfway up the stairs to help me down.
I fell silent in embarrassment.
“Er… Nothing. I’m fine,” I said, finding it difficult to be frank with her regarding the nature of my soreness.
“You appear to be limping. Did you hurt your legs?”
My evasive answer did not succeed in dispelling Josephine’s worry. Instead, her eyes narrowed with suspicion and worry as she kept up her relentless interrogation.
“I’m really all right, Mom. There’s no need to worry about me.”
Though I was touched by her concern, what happened in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom. Worst of all, it was the sexual prowess of her son under discussion. It made me cringe to even consider telling her the truth.
“Are you sure you’re fine? You should call in sick today if you feel under the weather.”
To my intense relief, Josephine seemed to have deemed my explanation satisfactory as she did not pursue the subject any further.
“I really am fine, Mom,” I repeated in earnest. “I won’t be having any breakfast as I’m running late. See you tonight!”
Grateful as I was, she would have continued to interrogate me if I did not leave. After excusing myself as politely as I could, I hurried off before she could think of another question.
Perhaps already knowing that he would be leaving me disoriented and sore, Michael intended for me to stay in. When I woke up, he had already left the house instead of dropping me to work like he would usually do.
As a result, I was forced to adapt and drive myself to work that day. Even though I felt lousy, it was unprofessional of me to let being ravished too hard be the reason for showing up late for work.
Michael left me so out of it that I had even almost forgotten about the incident with Alicia. Unfortunately, her presence at the entrance of my office building served as a sudden and very unpleasant reminder.
She stood at the exact spot she did the day before. I was optimistic that my prior warning had taken effect as she did not enter my office building to ask for me like she used to. Instead, she was contented with merely watching me from afar.
Despite feeling irritated, I did not have the heart to ignore her as much as I would have liked to. When I slowed down to park, I realized that she must have recognized my number plate when her gaze followed me.
Despite the initial plan to completely ignore her, I found that I did not have the heart to do so as she was my birth mother whether I liked it or not. Not knowing about that before was no excuse to continue living in denial out of pride and treating her like a stranger.
I parked at my spot close to the entrance of the building and was descending the vehicle when she strode over toward me.
Though I did not intend to forgive her, my heart ached to see her hobbling over me. She must have stood for hours.
As soon as she was close enough, I saw her smiling broadly.
“You’re finally not avoiding me anymore, Anna.”
“I wasn’t avoiding you,” I retorted. “I just don’t want to see you.”
It was true. I haven’t spoken to her since she had ceased walking into my office to ask for me anymore after I warned her against doing so the last time.
Alicia ignored my frosty demeanor. Instead, she smiled at me with tender warmth in her eyes. “Since you took the effort to speak to me today, can I take it that you have forgiven me, Anna?”
“You must have mistaken, Mrs. Campbell,” I said stiffly. “I didn’t come to you to forgive you. Instead, I wish to implore you to not stand outside my place of work every single day. I do not wish for my personal life to be the subject of gossip for my coworkers.”
Despite my harsh words, my actual intentions were for her not to wait for me under the sun anymore. My heart ached with sorrow at how much darker her skin had become since she began this practice.
“Why are you still calling me that?” asked Alicia sadly with pain in her eyes. Her voice trembled with hurt. “I’m your mother, Anna. Do you know how hurtful it is to be a complete stranger to you?”
“I think I’ve made myself perfectly clear the last time. I do not want to have anything to do with you. With all due respect, you will never be my mother, Mrs. Campbell.”
I regretted saying those hurtful words as soon as I did. As shocked as I was to hear such cruelty from my own lips, all I could think of at that moment was to unburden myself of the grievances and insecurities accumulated over two decades of neglect because of her.
Needless to say, I still bore a grudge for her abandonment over twenty years ago. I felt entitled enough to make her earn my forgiveness.
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, Alicia gave a shudder as tears welled up in her eyes which magnified the disappointment and hurt behind them.
“I know that you hate me for what I’ve done, Anna,” she said as she took my hand, casting aside her own despair for my sake. “But please don’t say horrible things like that. My heart breaks to hear my daughter treat me like a stranger.”
Deep down inside, I knew that I did not want to see her cry. Instead, I want to embrace her and call her my mother. Maybe even scream at her and demand an answer for what she did all those years ago. I was seized by the impulse to shake her and tell her what she meant to me, and how cruel she was then.
“No matter how badly I’d made you feel,” I replied scornfully with a facade of indifference, “it will never compare to how I felt when I found out that my mother had abandoned me. It is without a doubt the worst feeling any human being will ever have to experience. What are some harsh words compared to that?”
I made sure I infuse every syllable with resentment. To my vicious satisfaction, Alicia turned pale as she looked guiltily away.
“I know that you still hate me for what I did, Anna. You have every right to do that. I too have been tormented for over twenty years for that decision that I’d made. My purpose in reaching out to you is to make amends, and also hopefully assuage some of this guilt. Give me a chance, please? Let me try to even begin making it up to you.”
As she said that, she gave my hand a little squeeze as she watched my expression expectantly as though waiting for the answer she longed to hear.
To be completely honest, I was already mollified and quite ready to sob on her shoulder and tell her I would forgive her after she said that. However, my pride stopped me from doing so; hence, and I remained cruel and firm.
“Mrs. Campbell, I have made up my mind and it’s not going to change. I hope that you will never show yourself here again. In fact, we should go our separate ways going forward. We are strangers, after all.”
I did not know what came over me. I knew how that would break her heart, but I said them anyway.
